1 00:00:15,607 --> 00:00:16,781 - 1 got to get moved in. 2 00:00:16,884 --> 00:00:18,300 1 didn't think 1 would be this far in 3 00:00:18,403 --> 00:00:20,888 and no long-term shelter finished. 4 00:00:20,992 --> 00:00:22,614 Feeling winter gaining on me. 5 00:00:26,894 --> 00:00:29,138 It was right there. 6 00:00:29,242 --> 00:00:31,313 - Four rabbits! 7 00:00:31,416 --> 00:00:35,351 1 am so thankful for this four-rabbit day. 8 00:00:35,455 --> 00:00:38,354 9 00:00:38,458 --> 00:00:40,425 My body's not giving me what 1 need anymore. 10 00:00:40,529 --> 00:00:42,255 - 1 am officially tapping out. 11 00:00:42,358 --> 00:00:44,774 I'm not certain how I'm gonna move on from here. 12 00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:47,812 - I just lit my shelter on fire. 13 00:00:50,021 --> 00:00:52,368 Holy ! 14 00:00:56,717 --> 00:00:58,236 Male narrator: For the first time, 15 00:00:58,340 --> 00:01:01,791 ten participants will fight to survive the Arctic 16 00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:05,968 for longer than anyone in "Alone" history: 17 00:01:06,072 --> 00:01:08,039 a grueling 100 days. 18 00:01:09,661 --> 00:01:10,559 - This is the ultimate challenge. 19 00:01:12,112 --> 00:01:15,081 - A hundred days in the Arctic is no joke. 20 00:01:15,184 --> 00:01:16,875 If they can endure, 21 00:01:16,979 --> 00:01:19,740 they'll will the biggest prize ever: 22 00:01:19,844 --> 00:01:22,536 $1 million. 23 00:01:23,951 --> 00:01:26,161 - Whoa! - Holy ! 24 00:01:26,264 --> 00:01:27,921 - You can't tap out 25 00:01:28,024 --> 00:01:29,819 when there's a million bucks on the line, 26 00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:31,994 - Oh, my gosh. 27 00:01:32,098 --> 00:01:35,031 - How hard can you work for $10,000 a day? 28 00:01:35,135 --> 00:01:36,447 - It looks like frostbite. 29 00:01:37,758 --> 00:01:39,726 - Holy ! 30 00:01:39,829 --> 00:01:44,420 This is "Alone: Million Dollar Challenge." 31 00:01:44,524 --> 00:01:45,973 - They're just surrounding my shelter. 32 00:02:14,312 --> 00:02:16,003 - Oh, ! 33 00:02:16,107 --> 00:02:18,903 1 just it my shelter on fire. 34 00:02:20,629 --> 00:02:22,665 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, nope. 35 00:02:22,769 --> 00:02:25,427 Nope, this ain't happening. 36 00:02:25,530 --> 00:02:27,946 No, no, no, no, no. 37 00:02:28,050 --> 00:02:30,294 Get the [bleep] away 38 00:02:30,397 --> 00:02:32,227 from my [bleep]damn shelter. 39 00:02:32,330 --> 00:02:33,538 Nope. 40 00:02:38,819 --> 00:02:41,063 Go burn somewhere else, bitch! 41 00:02:43,928 --> 00:02:44,998 Whoo! 42 00:02:46,448 --> 00:02:47,483 Whoo! 43 00:02:48,933 --> 00:02:50,348 Holy ! 44 00:02:56,837 --> 00:02:57,735 Whoo! 45 00:02:58,977 --> 00:03:00,600 Oh, my God. 46 00:03:00,703 --> 00:03:02,567 1 think that should burn out. 47 00:03:04,466 --> 00:03:05,570 Yeah, that just happened. 48 00:03:10,472 --> 00:03:13,682 Well, we've got... 49 00:03:17,099 --> 00:03:20,102 A patch missing out of my shelter now. 50 00:03:20,206 --> 00:03:22,242 Pretty big one that's still smoking up here. 51 00:03:24,002 --> 00:03:26,626 What happened was all this soot sticks 52 00:03:26,729 --> 00:03:31,596 to these dried moss and dried pine needles, 53 00:03:31,700 --> 00:03:35,428 and an ember went up, and it just lit everything up. 54 00:03:39,501 --> 00:03:41,641 Doesn't help that it's so damn windy, either. 55 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:49,200 That...just made for a very interesting night. 56 00:04:00,349 --> 00:04:05,561 Talk about fighting fire with your freaking hands. 57 00:04:08,219 --> 00:04:10,497 Man. 58 00:04:10,601 --> 00:04:13,086 That's not how I'm going out. [bleep] that. 59 00:04:14,881 --> 00:04:16,814 Oh, God. 60 00:04:16,917 --> 00:04:18,747 Oh, man. 61 00:04:18,850 --> 00:04:21,957 Here I'm, like, freaking out and seeing things, but... 62 00:04:25,823 --> 00:04:28,066 1 had to stop that. That would've been it. 63 00:04:28,170 --> 00:04:31,207 That would've been my story. 64 00:04:31,311 --> 00:04:34,625 So tomorrow... 65 00:04:34,728 --> 00:04:36,903 I'll be fixing that, obviously. 66 00:04:37,006 --> 00:04:39,285 That's priority number one now. 67 00:04:39,388 --> 00:04:42,080 You got to be so careful out here. 68 00:04:44,290 --> 00:04:46,084 And obviously I'm not using the same materials 69 00:04:46,188 --> 00:04:49,812 I used last time. 70 00:05:12,525 --> 00:05:16,218 So Max can't really talk right now, right? 71 00:05:16,322 --> 00:05:18,841 He's only, like, a year and two months old. 72 00:05:20,636 --> 00:05:24,433 But he has a lot to say in my head. 73 00:05:24,537 --> 00:05:28,230 Every morning, he tells me-- he says, "Dad, get up." 74 00:05:28,334 --> 00:05:30,888 And immediately, 1 get out of bed. 75 00:05:32,268 --> 00:05:33,787 Um... 76 00:05:34,995 --> 00:05:38,965 1 don't feel the best, but that makes me happy. 77 00:05:43,763 --> 00:05:45,765 Last night was the coldest night 78 00:05:45,868 --> 00:05:48,595 'cause I'm missing a really huge chunk 79 00:05:48,699 --> 00:05:50,010 out of my shelter right now. 80 00:05:50,114 --> 00:05:52,875 So we got some remodeling to do. 81 00:05:54,567 --> 00:05:58,156 Gonna have to start with taking down my drying rack. 82 00:05:59,986 --> 00:06:01,125 If you wanna stay out here 83 00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:02,609 and you wanna make it to the end, 84 00:06:02,713 --> 00:06:04,922 you got to do whatever it takes. 85 00:06:05,025 --> 00:06:07,303 And we haven't even hit November yet. 86 00:06:09,513 --> 00:06:11,377 It's just tough being out here, you know? 87 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:16,105 It's work 24/7, which-- kinda what I expected. 88 00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:20,316 But I'm gonna try and push through it and overcome. 89 00:06:26,115 --> 00:06:29,671 So probably gonna use this tarp over this spot 90 00:06:29,774 --> 00:06:32,881 because the embers won't catch the tarp on fire. 91 00:06:35,608 --> 00:06:36,919 And with a tarp, 92 00:06:37,023 --> 00:06:38,680 the soot won't really stick to it that easily. 93 00:06:38,783 --> 00:06:40,060 And even if it does, 94 00:06:40,164 --> 00:06:42,477 it's easy to clean off and wipe off. 95 00:06:44,893 --> 00:06:47,240 Not gonna lie. Pretty tired right now. 96 00:06:57,492 --> 00:07:00,115 I'm gonna take a break. I got to warm my hands up. 97 00:07:21,964 --> 00:07:24,173 Haven't been stretching much. 98 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:27,211 It's kinda tough to do when it's no good flat spot 99 00:07:27,314 --> 00:07:30,317 and you can't put your hands on the ground. 100 00:07:30,421 --> 00:07:32,699 Then I'll do... 101 00:07:33,907 --> 00:07:37,428 Just stretch the arms out. 102 00:07:37,532 --> 00:07:40,949 Pull the shoulders down. 103 00:07:41,052 --> 00:07:43,745 Tilt the neck a little bit. 104 00:07:43,848 --> 00:07:47,438 Reach the fingers out. Oh, yeah. 105 00:07:50,130 --> 00:07:53,720 Roll the wrist in circles. 106 00:07:53,824 --> 00:07:57,068 Roll the shoulders. 107 00:07:57,172 --> 00:07:58,967 Feel that open up the chest. 108 00:07:59,070 --> 00:08:01,487 Never been to a yoga class or anything, by the way. 109 00:08:05,283 --> 00:08:08,701 But I've had girlfriends that do yoga, so. 110 00:08:08,804 --> 00:08:11,117 This is like that, right? 111 00:08:16,881 --> 00:08:19,228 I'm putting a lot of work into this shelter right now, 112 00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:21,265 but it's a tough balance in my priorities 113 00:08:21,368 --> 00:08:23,301 between protecting myself from the elements 114 00:08:23,405 --> 00:08:25,131 with this shelter 115 00:08:25,234 --> 00:08:27,996 and trying to obtain all the meat that 1 need-- 116 00:08:28,099 --> 00:08:29,584 fatty meat, hopefully, 117 00:08:29,687 --> 00:08:31,206 to keep my weight up. 118 00:08:31,309 --> 00:08:32,725 I'm getting fed. 119 00:08:32,828 --> 00:08:35,106 Got lots of hare... 120 00:08:35,210 --> 00:08:36,763 and that could probably keep me going, 121 00:08:36,867 --> 00:08:40,146 but it's not gonna keep me going while working hard. 122 00:08:42,700 --> 00:08:45,531 And from the beginning, I felt myself losing weight, 123 00:08:45,634 --> 00:08:47,636 and it doesn't seem to matter how much 1 eat. 124 00:08:47,740 --> 00:08:49,086 I'm definitely losing weight out here, 125 00:08:49,189 --> 00:08:50,777 and I'm expending a lot of energy, 126 00:08:50,881 --> 00:08:53,193 and it's starting to get tough. 127 00:08:53,297 --> 00:08:57,232 Either 1 get extreme fatigue or 1 get crampy. 128 00:08:57,335 --> 00:08:59,614 All right, break time. 129 00:09:01,961 --> 00:09:04,446 It bothers me that I'm losing weight this early in the game. 130 00:09:04,550 --> 00:09:06,310 There's gonna be constant work to do. 131 00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:07,760 I'm gonna have to cut up more trees and logs 132 00:09:07,863 --> 00:09:09,727 and haul brush to work on my shelter. 133 00:09:09,831 --> 00:09:12,316 And 1 feel like I'm sort of in a race against myself 134 00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:14,042 with this weakening body. 135 00:09:19,219 --> 00:09:20,980 Got some damn good-looking logs coming in, though. 136 00:09:21,083 --> 00:09:24,155 I've got three ready to go 137 00:09:24,259 --> 00:09:25,571 on top of what you see right here. 138 00:09:25,674 --> 00:09:30,679 So that's gonna get us up another...foot and a half. 139 00:09:32,474 --> 00:09:34,994 But as long as 1 can maintain the strength 140 00:09:35,097 --> 00:09:36,305 to get this shelter built 141 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:37,962 and then keep bringing in enough food 142 00:09:38,066 --> 00:09:40,931 to just maintain and stay warm, 143 00:09:41,034 --> 00:09:43,174 1 don't think this is a problem for me. 144 00:10:41,819 --> 00:10:43,994 I'm feeling hungry last few days. 145 00:10:44,097 --> 00:10:46,755 I've been eating less and less fish, 146 00:10:46,859 --> 00:10:49,931 and I've been losing a lot of my body fat. 147 00:10:50,034 --> 00:10:51,933 1 need some other game 148 00:10:52,036 --> 00:10:55,799 so I can have a real stash of food for the long haul. 149 00:10:55,902 --> 00:10:57,628 'Cause 1 do have some fish, 150 00:10:57,732 --> 00:11:00,838 but how long will that last, you know? 151 00:11:04,704 --> 00:11:07,017 Bunny tracks over here. 152 00:11:16,854 --> 00:11:18,787 When I was growing up in El Salvador, 153 00:11:18,891 --> 00:11:22,204 I will go to the countryside to snare iguanas, 154 00:11:22,308 --> 00:11:24,448 and that's when 1 started learning to hunt. 155 00:11:24,551 --> 00:11:26,761 So I wanna give it a try that way. 156 00:11:43,225 --> 00:11:46,850 Oh, somebody walked through here. 157 00:11:48,196 --> 00:11:49,991 That looks like a fox. 158 00:11:51,717 --> 00:11:54,029 Right next to the shelter. 159 00:11:54,133 --> 00:11:55,168 That's not good. 160 00:11:56,722 --> 00:11:58,758 There is a lot of competition in the area. 161 00:11:58,862 --> 00:12:00,864 There's a lot of animals that would love to get 162 00:12:00,967 --> 00:12:03,625 their hands on my food. 163 00:12:29,824 --> 00:12:31,308 1 don't have a spear, 164 00:12:31,411 --> 00:12:33,206 and it's one of the things that I wanted to do 165 00:12:33,310 --> 00:12:35,070 from the beginning. 166 00:12:35,174 --> 00:12:37,210 I wanna use it just in case a big predator 167 00:12:37,314 --> 00:12:39,040 is trying to get into my shelter. 168 00:12:39,143 --> 00:12:42,250 I could have at least a spear to hold them off, 169 00:12:42,353 --> 00:12:44,459 'cause anything can happen like that so quick, 170 00:12:44,562 --> 00:12:46,530 and it's just seconds. 171 00:13:12,349 --> 00:13:14,385 1 hear a rabbit in my snare. 172 00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,699 I got to really hurry up. 173 00:13:17,803 --> 00:13:20,771 I bet a fox right now is looking for it. 174 00:13:25,362 --> 00:13:26,812 Come on. 175 00:14:08,336 --> 00:14:10,579 My first snare worked. 176 00:14:16,137 --> 00:14:19,209 Let's get in the shelter before... 177 00:14:19,312 --> 00:14:25,215 before we get another animal 178 00:14:25,318 --> 00:14:30,289 in here because of the crying sound of this guy. 179 00:14:30,392 --> 00:14:33,706 Somebody else might want my bunny. 180 00:14:33,809 --> 00:14:35,777 Like a fox. 181 00:14:43,302 --> 00:14:45,891 Wow, what a rush. 182 00:14:48,997 --> 00:14:50,654 My first snare. 183 00:14:50,757 --> 00:14:53,277 Yes! More food. 184 00:14:54,865 --> 00:14:57,143 More food, more days here. 185 00:15:02,148 --> 00:15:04,185 Wow. 186 00:15:24,895 --> 00:15:26,932 - Good morning. 187 00:15:29,382 --> 00:15:31,453 Guess what I'm chewing on. 188 00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:39,116 I like to chew on a little spruce, 189 00:15:39,220 --> 00:15:41,360 you know, and brush my teeth with it. 190 00:15:47,159 --> 00:15:50,990 It's great, and now my mouth feels fresh and clean. 191 00:15:51,094 --> 00:15:52,543 Thanks, spruce. 192 00:15:54,166 --> 00:15:57,997 All right, clean mouth. Gotta start the day off right. 193 00:15:58,101 --> 00:16:00,206 Let's go on an adventure. 194 00:16:03,382 --> 00:16:04,797 I'm kinda curious to see 195 00:16:04,900 --> 00:16:07,731 if there's any fresh tracks around the lake. 196 00:16:07,834 --> 00:16:11,597 I'm catching a lot of rabbits, and I'm eating really well, 197 00:16:11,700 --> 00:16:15,221 but I'm still losing weight too. 198 00:16:15,325 --> 00:16:17,844 There's not a ton of fat on the rabbits 199 00:16:17,948 --> 00:16:19,329 and that's the thing I'm worried about, 200 00:16:19,432 --> 00:16:21,779 is not getting enough fat to eat. 201 00:16:23,609 --> 00:16:27,199 Having fat is necessary to make it to 100 days. 202 00:16:34,102 --> 00:16:37,657 What do we got here? Some tracks. 203 00:16:38,693 --> 00:16:44,975 Okay, so 1 think this is my good friend Mr. Porcupine. 204 00:16:46,390 --> 00:16:48,772 Porcupines have a bunch of fat on them. 205 00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:51,602 This could help fuel me for the winter. 206 00:16:52,983 --> 00:16:54,191 Wait a minute, 207 00:16:54,295 --> 00:16:57,988 There is another line of tracks coming in. 208 00:16:58,092 --> 00:17:02,303 That is very interesting. 209 00:17:03,614 --> 00:17:06,065 Check this out. Guess who else we got? 210 00:17:08,516 --> 00:17:09,517 Wolf. 211 00:17:11,588 --> 00:17:15,971 So 1 really wanna track this porcupine, 212 00:17:16,075 --> 00:17:19,527 but we got a wolf going the same way. 213 00:17:19,630 --> 00:17:21,356 Hopefully, we can catch up to him. 214 00:17:22,737 --> 00:17:24,566 There's a lot of competition for food. 215 00:17:24,670 --> 00:17:26,499 All the animals around here wanna eat. 216 00:17:27,673 --> 00:17:30,193 So here we go. 217 00:17:35,370 --> 00:17:39,892 I got to just make sure I'm not overlooking anything. 218 00:17:39,995 --> 00:17:41,273 Being out here, 219 00:17:41,376 --> 00:17:43,240 I feel like I've kind of dropped back 220 00:17:43,344 --> 00:17:44,483 into another time, 221 00:17:44,586 --> 00:17:47,589 and 1 think of the ancestors often 222 00:17:47,693 --> 00:17:50,109 now that it's getting cold 223 00:17:50,213 --> 00:17:52,077 and getting a little bit harder 224 00:17:52,180 --> 00:17:54,596 because 1 know that the ancestors 225 00:17:54,700 --> 00:17:57,289 went through some really hard times, 226 00:17:57,392 --> 00:17:59,256 but they made it through, 227 00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:01,534 and they didn't have a red button to push. 228 00:18:01,638 --> 00:18:05,435 They had to keep going. They give me so much strength. 229 00:18:05,538 --> 00:18:08,921 Yeah, the tracking's way harder in here. 230 00:18:09,818 --> 00:18:12,269 His tracks... 231 00:18:12,373 --> 00:18:19,034 just get totally covered up... 232 00:18:19,138 --> 00:18:20,622 by all this rabbit. 233 00:18:24,039 --> 00:18:26,973 See, now, 1 don't see where a porcupine goes. 234 00:18:28,837 --> 00:18:30,287 Darn. 235 00:18:30,391 --> 00:18:33,187 1 was really hopeful, but there's another porcupine, 236 00:18:33,290 --> 00:18:34,671 so 1 can come back up here 237 00:18:34,774 --> 00:18:36,880 and hope for some fresh tracks. 238 00:18:36,983 --> 00:18:38,295 And in the meantime, 239 00:18:38,399 --> 00:18:41,264 I'm just gonna set a few more snares up here. 240 00:18:57,866 --> 00:19:00,145 - 1 have some work to do today. 241 00:19:00,248 --> 00:19:04,701 It was late when madness happened outside. 242 00:20:37,414 --> 00:20:39,140 Fox. 243 00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:09,826 He's not afraid of me. 244 00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:21,631 Go away. Go away. 245 00:21:21,734 --> 00:21:22,770 Go away! 246 00:21:29,846 --> 00:21:33,125 He don't care. 247 00:21:33,228 --> 00:21:36,611 Can't believe he walked just in front of me like nothing. 248 00:21:50,418 --> 00:21:53,421 Do not come back here, The bunny's mine. 249 00:21:54,871 --> 00:21:56,148 Whoo! He doesn't wanna go away. 250 00:21:56,251 --> 00:21:57,805 He knows that there's food here. 251 00:21:57,908 --> 00:22:00,014 He's coming this way now. 252 00:22:08,609 --> 00:22:11,922 Do not come back for my food over here. 253 00:22:13,579 --> 00:22:16,375 Come on, I'm telling you. 254 00:22:16,479 --> 00:22:19,482 Holy , man, this fox. 255 00:22:19,585 --> 00:22:22,105 Sorry guys, but I'm starting to feel 256 00:22:22,208 --> 00:22:25,142 like this fox might be a danger for me. 257 00:22:34,635 --> 00:22:36,913 That's right. 258 00:22:37,016 --> 00:22:38,915 You don't listen. 259 00:22:40,779 --> 00:22:42,712 Do not come back here, 260 00:22:47,233 --> 00:22:48,580 That was getting too close. 261 00:22:49,926 --> 00:22:52,446 Yeah, 1 think that will deter the fox. 262 00:22:52,549 --> 00:22:55,276 Might make him a little more scared of humans. 263 00:22:55,380 --> 00:22:58,072 Just surrounding me, stalking me like that-- 264 00:22:58,175 --> 00:23:00,143 that's too much. 265 00:23:41,943 --> 00:23:45,775 - 40 days is the longest 266 00:23:45,878 --> 00:23:49,848 I've been out in the wilderness. 267 00:23:50,711 --> 00:23:52,713 That was with Dave. 268 00:23:52,816 --> 00:23:57,511 Big difference, though, being alone. 269 00:23:57,614 --> 00:23:58,719 I don't like it. 270 00:24:03,827 --> 00:24:06,451 Dave and 1 have been married for eight years. 271 00:24:06,554 --> 00:24:09,730 We have created a homestead together. 272 00:24:09,833 --> 00:24:12,353 We do everything together. 273 00:24:12,457 --> 00:24:15,839 It's what actually sparked us to start our business. 274 00:24:15,943 --> 00:24:18,221 Oh, 1 miss his hugs. 275 00:24:20,879 --> 00:24:24,054 Today 1 miss his hugs. 276 00:24:24,158 --> 00:24:27,195 So now, one of the most significant experiences 277 00:24:27,299 --> 00:24:30,026 in my life is without him., 278 00:24:30,129 --> 00:24:33,339 And that's a hard pill to swallow. 279 00:24:36,377 --> 00:24:39,587 Yeah, I just feel lonely. Just have to keep busy. 280 00:24:45,317 --> 00:24:48,078 Let's go and check the traps. 281 00:25:00,297 --> 00:25:03,128 My whole story has been about 282 00:25:03,231 --> 00:25:06,441 failing at the moose, failing at the fish. 283 00:25:06,545 --> 00:25:10,411 Failing at the moose again, failing at the fish again. 284 00:25:10,515 --> 00:25:14,173 Then sprinkle in a couple rabbits. 285 00:25:15,450 --> 00:25:19,420 My will-- my will is slipping. 286 00:25:22,561 --> 00:25:28,222 Okay. I'm back up to my snares. 287 00:25:52,142 --> 00:25:53,730 Damn it! 288 00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:02,118 Bad news. Someone found... 289 00:26:04,223 --> 00:26:06,156 Found my catch. 290 00:26:09,332 --> 00:26:11,127 Ugh! 291 00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:16,235 Damn it! 292 00:26:28,420 --> 00:26:31,043 Ugh, another one! 293 00:26:33,701 --> 00:26:36,670 Look. 294 00:26:36,773 --> 00:26:39,293 Kinda puts things in perspective, doesn't it? 295 00:26:41,536 --> 00:26:43,780 How serious this can be. 296 00:26:50,235 --> 00:26:53,514 I'm finding it hard to be motivated now. 297 00:26:53,618 --> 00:26:56,275 1 don't have anyone here to hold my hand 298 00:26:56,379 --> 00:26:58,726 and anyone to tell me it's gonna be okay 299 00:26:58,830 --> 00:27:01,695 and anyone to show me the way. 300 00:27:01,798 --> 00:27:06,838 It's all me, and that's a scary thought. 301 00:27:08,805 --> 00:27:12,188 It's the first time that I actually want to be home. 302 00:27:13,810 --> 00:27:16,364 One bunny left. 303 00:27:17,987 --> 00:27:20,023 1 really miss Dave. 304 00:27:37,282 --> 00:27:40,147 1 know this is super weird, but... 305 00:27:43,012 --> 00:27:47,292 I'm just really a huggy person. 306 00:27:49,915 --> 00:27:52,435 1 like to hold hands. 307 00:27:54,230 --> 00:27:55,887 I like to kiss. 308 00:27:55,990 --> 00:27:58,579 But here, the only time I've touched something living 309 00:27:58,683 --> 00:28:00,408 is when I'm about to kill it. 310 00:28:03,549 --> 00:28:05,759 To have no... 311 00:28:09,279 --> 00:28:12,075 You know... 312 00:28:12,179 --> 00:28:16,390 no physical contact is, uh--it's just... 313 00:28:16,493 --> 00:28:18,219 it's like a... 314 00:28:22,914 --> 00:28:27,884 An emptiness that just sort of slowly appears. 315 00:28:32,406 --> 00:28:36,341 And you realize, you know, something's missing. 316 00:29:05,232 --> 00:29:07,303 - Can't somebody invent a snagless zipper? 317 00:29:07,406 --> 00:29:09,650 It's, like, one in five times I use a zipper, 318 00:29:09,754 --> 00:29:11,686 it gets hung up on something. 319 00:29:11,790 --> 00:29:14,517 But it's nice to have this clean, dry rock 320 00:29:14,620 --> 00:29:16,450 to stand on for changing my clothes. 321 00:29:16,553 --> 00:29:19,729 Man, so much luxury in this space. 322 00:29:19,833 --> 00:29:22,490 Definitely wanna line my floor in big, flat stones like this. 323 00:29:22,594 --> 00:29:24,803 I'm gonna do that. That's my goal. 324 00:29:24,907 --> 00:29:27,702 Have the first shelter on "Alone" that requires a broom. 325 00:29:31,430 --> 00:29:32,915 Go out, check my snares again. 326 00:29:33,018 --> 00:29:35,365 Might have another hare. We'll see. 327 00:29:37,333 --> 00:29:40,612 Oh, we got a hare. 328 00:29:42,925 --> 00:29:44,581 This is a beautiful guy right here. 329 00:29:44,685 --> 00:29:48,102 Kind of ideal size. 330 00:29:48,206 --> 00:29:49,759 All frozen up. 331 00:29:51,381 --> 00:29:55,144 I'm gonna throw this guy in my front pocket and take off. 332 00:29:58,492 --> 00:30:00,045 Oh, there's another hare. 333 00:30:00,149 --> 00:30:03,083 Holy smokes, it's still alive. 334 00:30:03,186 --> 00:30:06,880 Dang, that's not what 1 want. 335 00:30:10,297 --> 00:30:13,818 Sorry, dude, but thank you for your life. 336 00:30:27,279 --> 00:30:30,386 Hoo, another hare this morning. 337 00:30:32,250 --> 00:30:34,045 Unfortunately, another one that I'm gonna have to dispatch 338 00:30:34,148 --> 00:30:35,701 out here in the field. 339 00:30:35,805 --> 00:30:37,945 This isn't pretty. 1 don't like this part-- 340 00:30:38,049 --> 00:30:40,983 taking of a life-- but I'm extremely grateful, 341 00:30:41,086 --> 00:30:42,916 and this is with purpose here. 342 00:30:43,019 --> 00:30:45,056 1 do need 10 eat, and being able to put away 343 00:30:45,159 --> 00:30:48,473 more food is something that 1 feel very fortunate to do. 344 00:30:48,576 --> 00:30:50,268 All right, one last snare to check. 345 00:30:52,339 --> 00:30:55,238 And another hare, Holy moly. 346 00:30:59,518 --> 00:31:03,557 It's a four-hare day. Holy smokes. 347 00:31:03,660 --> 00:31:06,629 I think it's a lucky day. It's a beautiful, lucky day. 348 00:31:14,948 --> 00:31:16,984 I think there's a lot of wisdom in just consuming 349 00:31:17,088 --> 00:31:18,710 the nourishment that you have on hand 350 00:31:18,813 --> 00:31:20,470 and not trying to ration it out, 351 00:31:20,574 --> 00:31:22,956 and phrasing it as "keeping your momentum." 352 00:31:25,096 --> 00:31:26,960 1 definitely got to keep my momentum. 353 00:31:27,063 --> 00:31:28,271 Without my momentum, 354 00:31:28,375 --> 00:31:29,824 I don't think I'll keep bringing in food. 355 00:31:29,928 --> 00:31:32,620 I'll just start tapering off on all fronts. 356 00:31:43,908 --> 00:31:46,496 Did 1 just hear a wolf? 357 00:31:51,225 --> 00:31:53,434 Can you hear that? 358 00:31:58,405 --> 00:32:00,165 Oh, . 359 00:32:02,581 --> 00:32:05,550 That just unleashed, like, so many potentials of, like, 360 00:32:05,653 --> 00:32:07,966 what other mysteries lie out here for me. 361 00:32:09,726 --> 00:32:12,039 1 wonder if 1 should be scared of wolves-- 362 00:32:12,143 --> 00:32:14,317 scared of wolves coming and trying to get my bunnies. 363 00:32:20,806 --> 00:32:22,601 Thinking about dealing with the predators, 364 00:32:22,705 --> 00:32:23,878 there's a potential that they could be 365 00:32:23,982 --> 00:32:25,880 a threat to my safety. 366 00:32:25,984 --> 00:32:28,297 But the best thing 1 can do is just cross that bridge 367 00:32:28,400 --> 00:32:29,884 when you come to it, and if you have to, 368 00:32:29,988 --> 00:32:32,335 you take down that animal. 369 00:32:35,166 --> 00:32:36,995 I'm gonna have a hard time killing a wolf, 370 00:32:37,099 --> 00:32:38,928 except in a moment of desperation 371 00:32:39,032 --> 00:32:40,895 or maybe for $1 million. 372 00:33:04,091 --> 00:33:05,610 - Man, 1 had a [bleep) up dream 373 00:33:05,713 --> 00:33:08,613 that 1 woke up from a little while ago. 374 00:33:08,716 --> 00:33:12,099 It was about the drag races, which I do with my dad. 375 00:33:12,203 --> 00:33:16,586 For some reason, the track was set up so the finish line 376 00:33:16,690 --> 00:33:18,278 was at the end where the spectators are, 377 00:33:18,381 --> 00:33:19,934 which is never the case. 378 00:33:20,038 --> 00:33:22,937 And I was there with, like, all the "Alone" participants, 379 00:33:23,041 --> 00:33:25,319 who were talking about, like, whether they could make it. 380 00:33:27,459 --> 00:33:30,014 'Cause it's very possible that no one makes it 100 days. 381 00:33:33,534 --> 00:33:37,538 Is not trying worth giving up $1 million? 382 00:33:37,642 --> 00:33:39,023 No. 383 00:33:43,544 --> 00:33:45,063 The thing I think I'd be most proud to finish 384 00:33:45,167 --> 00:33:46,616 is this shelter. 385 00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:48,549 Like, if I'm gonna finish one thing out here 386 00:33:48,653 --> 00:33:50,655 before it gets really, really cold and windy 387 00:33:50,758 --> 00:33:52,933 and that lake's frozen, it's got to be that. 388 00:33:54,486 --> 00:33:56,523 But whatever the opposite of energized is-- 389 00:33:56,626 --> 00:33:59,767 spent, pooped, bushed, whatever that is-- 390 00:33:59,871 --> 00:34:02,356 I'm feeling it, man. 391 00:34:02,460 --> 00:34:04,634 Not too much higher to go on this little side. 392 00:34:07,499 --> 00:34:08,673 Oh, that sucks. 393 00:34:10,054 --> 00:34:10,951 1 can just feel it. 394 00:34:11,055 --> 00:34:12,608 My stomach is taking so long 395 00:34:12,711 --> 00:34:15,956 to digest these protein-rich meals that I'm trying to eat. 396 00:34:16,060 --> 00:34:17,923 And 1 go out and feel ke 1 should be energized, 397 00:34:18,027 --> 00:34:19,063 and 1 just crash. 398 00:34:23,446 --> 00:34:25,069 Oh, yup. 399 00:34:26,656 --> 00:34:30,315 Legs are wobbly again. What's going on? 400 00:34:30,419 --> 00:34:31,696 My stomach's, like... 401 00:34:35,700 --> 00:34:38,979 "You should lay down." 402 00:34:39,083 --> 00:34:42,569 Oh, the change is occurring. 403 00:34:42,672 --> 00:34:45,848 I'm becoming lethargic. 404 00:34:45,951 --> 00:34:47,367 It's what I am. 405 00:34:49,714 --> 00:34:52,303 At this point, I'm attributing it to the hare 406 00:34:52,406 --> 00:34:55,444 takes energy from me while I'm digesting it, 407 00:34:55,547 --> 00:34:58,136 which 1 think is a pretty safe hypothesis. 408 00:35:01,657 --> 00:35:04,177 I've got a lot of hard work to do here. 409 00:35:04,280 --> 00:35:05,730 It's, like, if I don't have the energy 410 00:35:05,833 --> 00:35:08,422 to do that effectively, I just can't do it. 411 00:35:10,148 --> 00:35:11,494 That's the bottom line. 412 00:35:11,598 --> 00:35:15,429 And that's not a scenario that 1 think is viable. 413 00:35:41,283 --> 00:35:43,319 - Hands are warmed up. 414 00:35:43,423 --> 00:35:44,665 Toes are cold. 415 00:35:46,288 --> 00:35:48,842 Exercise the toes. 416 00:35:48,945 --> 00:35:52,915 We're doing toe exercises right now. 417 00:35:53,018 --> 00:35:56,470 And a one, and a two, and a three, and a four. 418 00:35:56,574 --> 00:35:58,162 And a one, and a two, 419 00:35:58,265 --> 00:36:00,543 and a three, and a four. 420 00:36:03,926 --> 00:36:05,893 , YOU going insane out here. 421 00:36:10,795 --> 00:36:13,556 Fixing my shelter took a lot of energy. 422 00:36:16,387 --> 00:36:18,665 My body is just shot. 423 00:36:18,768 --> 00:36:20,839 1 feel tired for everything. 424 00:36:25,430 --> 00:36:28,226 It has been so much work. 425 00:36:28,330 --> 00:36:31,125 I mean, it's got its rewards. Don't get me wrong. 426 00:36:31,229 --> 00:36:34,922 Looking at my home right now, that makes me happy. 427 00:36:35,026 --> 00:36:37,201 But nobody to talk to. 428 00:36:37,304 --> 00:36:39,030 You're sitting out here; you start wondering. 429 00:36:39,133 --> 00:36:43,241 You're like, "Why? Why am 1 doing this?" 430 00:36:43,345 --> 00:36:47,832 And my reasoning for doing this 431 00:36:47,935 --> 00:36:49,696 is to not quit. 432 00:36:49,799 --> 00:36:55,288 But every single stinking day is rough. 433 00:36:55,391 --> 00:36:56,944 Man, I'm tired! 434 00:37:01,190 --> 00:37:05,401 So I've noticed that 1 keep getting more and more hungry. 435 00:37:06,816 --> 00:37:09,681 And I have food. And I'm starving. 436 00:37:09,785 --> 00:37:10,889 But I'm hungry. I don't know. 437 00:37:10,993 --> 00:37:13,754 It's just, like, I can't stop the hunger. 438 00:37:13,858 --> 00:37:15,860 And to kinda put it into perspective for you, 439 00:37:15,963 --> 00:37:18,552 for breakfast, 1 had fish. 440 00:37:18,656 --> 00:37:20,071 1 had dried fish. 441 00:37:21,659 --> 00:37:23,799 An entire fillet. 442 00:37:23,902 --> 00:37:28,735 Like, an entire side of a fish, not just a fillet. 443 00:37:30,530 --> 00:37:32,532 I've tried to ration things out. 444 00:37:33,947 --> 00:37:35,914 And 1 keep eating. And 1 keep eating. 445 00:37:36,018 --> 00:37:37,226 And 1 keep eating. 446 00:37:37,330 --> 00:37:39,228 And it's, like, I can't get enough. 447 00:37:40,609 --> 00:37:43,059 So it's not a good situation. 448 00:37:43,163 --> 00:37:44,958 I've had to think about it a lot, obviously, 449 00:37:45,061 --> 00:37:48,341 and I'm, like, "Whew, come on, come on, 450 00:37:48,444 --> 00:37:50,895 Get your head in the game. Get your head in the game." 451 00:37:50,998 --> 00:37:53,622 All it takes is all you get, but... 452 00:37:56,728 --> 00:37:59,455 Tm not sure Tm willing to give it everything that 1 have 453 00:37:59,559 --> 00:38:01,492 to be able to stay out here. 454 00:38:03,632 --> 00:38:06,013 And it's the-- it sounds bad, right? 455 00:38:06,117 --> 00:38:07,601 It sounds real bad. 456 00:38:07,705 --> 00:38:09,293 This whole thing is, "Hey, don't quit. 457 00:38:09,396 --> 00:38:10,432 Don't quit." 458 00:38:10,535 --> 00:38:12,226 But... 459 00:38:18,543 --> 00:38:19,717 You miss everything. 460 00:38:21,719 --> 00:38:25,861 Everything that you want, you already have. 461 00:38:28,104 --> 00:38:29,865 That's a good feeling. 462 00:38:31,660 --> 00:38:33,247 So 1 don't know. 463 00:38:33,351 --> 00:38:34,904 Tomorrow, I'm hoping, is gonna be better, 464 00:38:35,008 --> 00:38:36,596 and we'll see what happens. 465 00:38:36,699 --> 00:38:37,562 One day at a time. 466 00:38:50,782 --> 00:38:55,269 - I can see why people die of a lonely heart. 467 00:38:55,373 --> 00:38:58,480 Day 100, it just seems so far off. 468 00:39:03,312 --> 00:39:05,210 - I am eating more. I'm eating a lot. 469 00:39:05,314 --> 00:39:07,385 Tm eating basically as much as 1 have time 470 00:39:07,489 --> 00:39:11,009 to process in a day, but I have to reckon with 471 00:39:11,113 --> 00:39:14,565 the potential reality that 1 don't have a high likelihood 472 00:39:14,668 --> 00:39:17,602 of being the last person standing out here. 473 00:39:20,502 --> 00:39:23,021 1 know my body really well, And 1 push my body. 474 00:39:23,125 --> 00:39:24,816 And this is getting to the point 475 00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:26,887 where I'm actually worried about my health. 476 00:39:26,991 --> 00:39:28,889 Coming out here and pushing my body 477 00:39:28,993 --> 00:39:31,685 0 a point where 1 may do harm to myself, 478 00:39:31,789 --> 00:39:33,411 that's putting my pride over my son. 479 00:39:59,748 --> 00:40:01,439 - You guys aren't disappointed, are you? 480 00:40:04,615 --> 00:40:06,271 Hi. 481 00:40:06,375 --> 00:40:09,965 I've been feeling myself getting smaller and weaker, 482 00:40:10,068 --> 00:40:11,553 and the days have gotten difficult. 483 00:40:11,656 --> 00:40:15,142 And 1 just feel my body isn't getting what it needs 484 00:40:15,246 --> 00:40:17,179 to be all it can be, and 1 wanna be-- 485 00:40:17,282 --> 00:40:19,664 1 wanna be 100% me, so. 486 00:40:19,768 --> 00:40:21,666 1 wanna walk away in good health, 487 00:40:21,770 --> 00:40:25,083 and 1 wanna come home to my family and friends whole. 488 00:40:26,326 --> 00:40:27,431 You know? 489 00:40:27,534 --> 00:40:29,156 With or without a bunch of money. 490 00:40:32,297 --> 00:40:35,473 I of course love the idea of leaving victorious 491 00:40:35,577 --> 00:40:37,682 with, you know, my best buds showing up 492 00:40:37,786 --> 00:40:39,512 and congratulating me on winning 493 00:40:39,615 --> 00:40:42,618 and maybe $1 million richer. 494 00:40:42,722 --> 00:40:45,207 1 really think that the way 1 was building my shelter 495 00:40:45,310 --> 00:40:47,796 was the way to do it in the long run, 496 00:40:47,899 --> 00:40:49,142 but 1 needed more fuel 497 00:40:49,245 --> 00:40:52,248 to power myself through that project. 498 00:40:52,352 --> 00:40:55,735 But I'm just working with what seems realistic right now, 499 00:40:55,838 --> 00:40:57,702 and I'm not gonna be the guy that comes out here 500 00:40:57,806 --> 00:40:59,877 who's just so full of pride that I'm just gonna try 501 00:40:59,980 --> 00:41:03,536 to push through real physical hardship to the point 502 00:41:03,639 --> 00:41:04,571 of doing myself harm. 503 00:41:04,675 --> 00:41:05,572 I'm just not gonna do that. 504 00:41:33,393 --> 00:41:35,291 - There's a lot of good books 505 00:41:35,395 --> 00:41:37,328 written about northern Labrador. 506 00:41:37,431 --> 00:41:39,364 It makes you--it's a-- 507 00:41:39,468 --> 00:41:42,057 makes you romanticize going there... 508 00:41:44,162 --> 00:41:46,855 if you like that sort of hardship. 509 00:41:51,722 --> 00:41:53,896 Actually, there's a book called 510 00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:56,416 "The Lure of the Labrador Wild." 511 00:41:56,520 --> 00:41:59,626 It's how we got our name for our company, 512 00:41:59,730 --> 00:42:01,283 Lure of the North. 513 00:42:03,596 --> 00:42:05,770 That's how we feel about the north. 514 00:42:05,874 --> 00:42:07,669 It has this pull. 515 00:42:07,772 --> 00:42:10,257 It'll bite your head off if you're not careful, 516 00:42:10,361 --> 00:42:16,229 but it'll also provide for you what you need. 517 00:42:21,199 --> 00:42:23,408 I got to keep pushing today. 518 00:42:23,512 --> 00:42:25,238 Kinda running low on energy, 519 00:42:25,341 --> 00:42:28,586 but it takes energy to make energy. 520 00:42:28,690 --> 00:42:31,624 Despite all my talk about being lonely, 521 00:42:31,727 --> 00:42:34,178 I think I just need to just come to terms 522 00:42:34,281 --> 00:42:36,490 with what 1 was feeling. 523 00:42:36,594 --> 00:42:40,356 And I'm just going through a moment, that's all. 524 00:42:53,542 --> 00:42:55,958 Hmm. 525 00:42:58,305 --> 00:43:00,445 Is that a bunny? What is that? 526 00:43:02,206 --> 00:43:04,208 That's excellent. 1 got a rabbit. 527 00:43:05,692 --> 00:43:09,144 Means there's still alive bunnies around. 528 00:43:10,490 --> 00:43:12,354 Good start to the day. 529 00:43:12,457 --> 00:43:15,495 So I've been thinking about stoicism. 530 00:43:15,599 --> 00:43:19,085 Specifically, stoicism is about action, 531 00:43:19,188 --> 00:43:21,639 and it's about setting yourself up 532 00:43:21,743 --> 00:43:23,537 to overcome obstacles 533 00:43:23,641 --> 00:43:27,472 and then having the will to endure and persist. 534 00:43:28,991 --> 00:43:30,372 Whoa. 535 00:43:30,475 --> 00:43:32,650 Al right, guys. 1 came across another one. 536 00:43:33,824 --> 00:43:35,860 That's two for the day. 537 00:43:35,964 --> 00:43:38,414 All right, all right. 538 00:43:38,518 --> 00:43:42,867 And to try everything that you can to overcome the obstacle, 539 00:43:42,971 --> 00:43:47,734 and if you can't, then see the good in the bad. 540 00:43:47,838 --> 00:43:50,979 Ay, caramba. 1 get another one. 541 00:43:51,082 --> 00:43:54,361 Holy shmoly. That's three today. 542 00:43:54,465 --> 00:43:57,226 Very grateful. 543 00:43:57,330 --> 00:43:59,228 Really grateful. 544 00:43:59,332 --> 00:44:01,955 And that, to me, is stoicism, 545 00:44:06,580 --> 00:44:08,859 Good day on the line. 546 00:44:14,243 --> 00:44:15,624 Three bunnies. 547 00:44:17,315 --> 00:44:20,146 Let's skin a rabbit. 548 00:44:20,249 --> 00:44:23,218 Nice amount of stomach fat on this one. 549 00:44:23,321 --> 00:44:26,428 That's nothing to scoff at. You see all that? 550 00:44:26,531 --> 00:44:28,223 It's quite a bit. 551 00:44:31,329 --> 00:44:33,021 Hopefully that means good things 552 00:44:33,124 --> 00:44:36,645 for the arms and behind the shoulders. 553 00:44:36,749 --> 00:44:41,719 Just trying to keep all the fat on this body, not the skin. 554 00:44:41,823 --> 00:44:44,653 There's still hope for me, guys. 555 00:45:10,368 --> 00:45:13,371 - Do you guys ever, like, talk to yourselves? 556 00:45:13,475 --> 00:45:15,684 What I mean by that is, like, 557 00:45:15,788 --> 00:45:18,031 "Man, what do 1 got to do today? Okay, 1 gofta do this. 558 00:45:18,135 --> 00:45:21,621 Gotta do that. Da-da-da." 559 00:45:21,725 --> 00:45:24,072 Right? You talk to yourself. 560 00:45:24,175 --> 00:45:26,764 1 do that all the time.,. 561 00:45:28,870 --> 00:45:33,667 But yesterday, I'm sitting there... 562 00:45:37,223 --> 00:45:39,604 And I was, like, arguing with myself. 563 00:45:45,334 --> 00:45:47,129 And you're, like, "Hmm, is that normal?" 564 00:45:47,233 --> 00:45:49,028 1 don't know. 565 00:45:51,237 --> 00:45:52,963 But 1 bet everybody that goes insane 566 00:45:53,066 --> 00:45:55,689 thinks they're sane, right? 567 00:46:05,389 --> 00:46:06,908 I'm doing this for Max, 568 00:46:07,011 --> 00:46:10,152 but been miserable for quite a long time out here, 569 00:46:10,256 --> 00:46:12,603 and I'm trying to stay happy about it, 570 00:46:12,706 --> 00:46:15,088 but when you catch yourself talking to yourself 571 00:46:15,192 --> 00:46:17,850 a little bit too much and you're just not smiling 572 00:46:17,953 --> 00:46:20,956 and not having fun, it wears on you. 573 00:46:23,372 --> 00:46:26,720 Max, man, this is rough. 574 00:46:26,824 --> 00:46:29,689 And I'm sorry, 575 00:46:29,793 --> 00:46:31,829 but buddy, I'm coming home to see you. 576 00:46:31,933 --> 00:46:34,556 And I'm not sorry about that. 577 00:46:40,113 --> 00:46:42,115 Hey, this is Mark, 578 00:46:42,219 --> 00:46:45,498 and, uh, I'm officially tapping out. 579 00:46:53,920 --> 00:46:56,543 Fox. 580 00:46:56,647 --> 00:46:58,028 You coming to thank me? 581 00:46:59,615 --> 00:47:01,928 You coming to thank me for letting you go? 582 00:47:03,481 --> 00:47:05,138 Yeah, you're welcome. 583 00:47:06,553 --> 00:47:10,247 Did a lot of good things, and I'm tired. 584 00:47:11,731 --> 00:47:13,319 I'll let the fox have the rabbits. 585 00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:19,670 Hey, that way. 586 00:47:19,773 --> 00:47:21,051 Keep heading west. 587 00:47:23,087 --> 00:47:26,573 Well, here it is. 588 00:47:32,269 --> 00:47:34,478 Bittersweet moment to see you guys. 589 00:47:35,893 --> 00:47:38,792 This experience has been, for me, 590 00:47:38,896 --> 00:47:40,656 what with Max, 591 00:47:40,760 --> 00:47:42,866 there's a lot of things I'm missing, that I missed. 592 00:47:42,969 --> 00:47:44,246 Him walking for the first time; 593 00:47:44,350 --> 00:47:45,558 him talking, saying different things. 594 00:47:45,661 --> 00:47:46,904 'Cause at his age, 595 00:47:47,008 --> 00:47:49,355 it's been a struggle to be away from everything. 596 00:47:54,360 --> 00:47:56,638 The whole reason why I'm doing this was to show my son 597 00:47:56,741 --> 00:47:59,675 what it's like to do something really hard and not quit. 598 00:47:59,779 --> 00:48:03,265 But 1 want my son to know that it is okay to quit something 599 00:48:03,369 --> 00:48:05,060 when you are worried about your health. 600 00:48:05,164 --> 00:48:09,202 You got to be smart enough to know when to call it. 601 00:48:09,306 --> 00:48:11,377 Push yourself as hard as you can, 602 00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:14,690 and then make sure that you're happy with your decision. 603 00:48:16,692 --> 00:48:18,487 1 remember saying when 1 came out here, 604 00:48:18,591 --> 00:48:20,075 "I'd rather die than quit." 605 00:48:20,179 --> 00:48:21,111 No, 1 wouldn't. 606 00:48:22,491 --> 00:48:23,492 I'd rather live. 607 00:48:27,462 --> 00:48:30,914 I wanna go back and appreciate all the little things 608 00:48:31,017 --> 00:48:32,639 1 never appreciated before. 609 00:48:34,918 --> 00:48:36,229 Pain, misery, and suffering. 610 00:48:36,333 --> 00:48:38,335 I've dealt with it enough. 611 00:48:38,438 --> 00:48:40,544 I'm done. 612 00:49:24,829 --> 00:49:26,900 - Trick or treat! 613 00:49:28,799 --> 00:49:33,459 I'm a porcupine! 614 00:49:33,562 --> 00:49:35,530 Happy Halloween. 615 00:49:35,633 --> 00:49:40,535 I'm honoring-- honoring the porcupine, 616 00:49:40,638 --> 00:49:43,952 because that is who first greeted me here 617 00:49:44,056 --> 00:49:46,299 and gave me food to eat on this land, 618 00:49:46,403 --> 00:49:49,371 so I'm a porcupine for Halloween. 619 00:49:53,375 --> 00:49:57,586 Good evening and happy Halloween. 620 00:49:57,690 --> 00:50:01,935 So I'm burning an outside fire to celebrate the ancestors, 621 00:50:02,039 --> 00:50:04,524 and I'm having an ancestor feast. 622 00:50:04,628 --> 00:50:06,664 I'm putting a whole rabbit in the pot. 623 00:50:06,768 --> 00:50:10,461 I'm gonna eat this whole rabbit tonight. 624 00:50:10,565 --> 00:50:14,638 No porcupine, but I'm so thankful for the rabbits. 625 00:50:14,741 --> 00:50:18,021 Just really taking care of me in a big way. 626 00:50:21,024 --> 00:50:23,267 To me, Halloween's, like, a celebration 627 00:50:23,371 --> 00:50:26,788 of the life-death cycle, and honoring all the ancestors 628 00:50:26,891 --> 00:50:29,308 and all the ones that have passed. 629 00:50:31,827 --> 00:50:33,967 And death has been a pretty big part of my life 630 00:50:34,071 --> 00:50:37,247 because two of my brothers have died. 631 00:50:37,350 --> 00:50:39,421 So it's, like, whatever you lose 632 00:50:39,525 --> 00:50:41,354 you don't take it for granted anymore, 633 00:50:41,458 --> 00:50:44,219 and I just love my family so much. 634 00:50:44,323 --> 00:50:46,877 And they're on my mind today. 635 00:50:46,980 --> 00:50:49,742 Connecting to the rabbits, to the porcupine, 636 00:50:49,845 --> 00:50:52,641 to my brothers, and all my friends and family 637 00:50:52,745 --> 00:50:55,265 that have passed on and all my ancestors 638 00:50:55,368 --> 00:50:56,680 that 1 haven't met before. 639 00:51:03,618 --> 00:51:06,034 It's such a powerful realization, you know? 640 00:51:06,138 --> 00:51:08,554 Like, there's all these conveniences, 641 00:51:08,657 --> 00:51:09,865 and they're all nice, 642 00:51:09,969 --> 00:51:12,005 but there's something missing from it. 643 00:51:12,109 --> 00:51:15,112 And that thing that's missing is right here. 644 00:51:15,216 --> 00:51:17,770 It's a connection. It's a relationship. 645 00:51:17,873 --> 00:51:19,047 It's a depth. 646 00:51:19,151 --> 00:51:21,291 And it's here, and it's in this rabbit, 647 00:51:21,394 --> 00:51:23,707 and it's in this fire, and it's in this land. 648 00:51:23,810 --> 00:51:26,951 And I feel more free than I've ever felt 649 00:51:27,055 --> 00:51:28,815 because 1 get to do what 1love. 650 00:51:28,919 --> 00:51:30,403 I love my family, 651 00:51:30,507 --> 00:51:33,199 but I'm loving this alone time, you know? 652 00:51:33,303 --> 00:51:36,099 1 just know that the longer 1 am away, 653 00:51:36,202 --> 00:51:38,480 the sweeter its gonna be when 1 see them again. 654 00:51:38,584 --> 00:51:41,518 Because this is an opportunity to go deep. 655 00:51:44,659 --> 00:51:48,041 Deeper into the wild, deeper into myself, 656 00:51:48,145 --> 00:51:50,975 and 1 want to suck the marrow out of that. 657 00:51:51,079 --> 00:51:53,046 1 wanna go as deep as 1 can. 658 00:52:01,710 --> 00:52:04,230 All right, that looks like a good dinner to me. 659 00:52:05,714 --> 00:52:10,098 We are having a party tonight. Oh, yeah. 660 00:52:10,202 --> 00:52:12,825 1 got so many people that 1 love and care about, 661 00:52:12,928 --> 00:52:15,138 and 1 wanna do good for them. 662 00:52:15,241 --> 00:52:17,864 The prize money, it wouldn't just benefit me. 663 00:52:17,968 --> 00:52:20,246 It'd benefit my family, 664 00:52:20,350 --> 00:52:22,869 my friends. 665 00:52:22,973 --> 00:52:25,562 1 just can't say it enough. 666 00:52:25,665 --> 00:52:28,772 I am just getting started out here. 667 00:52:39,092 --> 00:52:41,474 - Welcome to "Alone: Tales from the Arctic." 668 00:52:41,578 --> 00:52:42,889 I'm Colby Donaldson, 669 00:52:42,993 --> 00:52:44,684 here with Mark, Callie, Joe, 670 00:52:44,788 --> 00:52:46,652 Amos, and Kielyn. 671 00:52:46,755 --> 00:52:48,619 There is so much to discuss. 672 00:52:48,723 --> 00:52:50,725 Two tap outs. Wolves. 673 00:52:50,828 --> 00:52:53,969 Amos and his run-in with a fox--but first, Mark. 674 00:52:54,073 --> 00:52:55,971 Let's talk about that shelter fire. 675 00:52:56,075 --> 00:52:57,456 - And so, I look up. 676 00:52:57,559 --> 00:52:59,182 1 see my shelter's on fire. 677 00:52:59,285 --> 00:53:01,667 And I'd like to turn around 678 00:53:01,770 --> 00:53:03,082 and just start being able to fight it immediately, 679 00:53:03,186 --> 00:53:05,395 but 1 grab the camera, 1 get to my door, 680 00:53:05,498 --> 00:53:07,811 finally get it untied, get outside. 681 00:53:07,914 --> 00:53:09,951 So 1 chuck the camera in the snow, 682 00:53:10,054 --> 00:53:11,228 and luckily, 1 got a good enough angle. 683 00:53:11,332 --> 00:53:13,230 You guys could kinda see what was going on. 684 00:53:13,334 --> 00:53:14,300 - Yep. 685 00:53:14,404 --> 00:53:16,233 - This is not happening. 686 00:53:16,337 --> 00:53:20,133 Go burn somewhere else, bitch! 687 00:53:20,237 --> 00:53:23,033 - Mark, at one point, you said, 688 00:53:23,136 --> 00:53:24,759 "That would've been my story." 689 00:53:24,862 --> 00:53:26,347 Specifically what did you mean by that? 690 00:53:26,450 --> 00:53:29,108 - If it goes up and all my equipment's in there, 691 00:53:29,212 --> 00:53:30,868 I would not have been able to continue on, 692 00:53:30,972 --> 00:53:32,836 especially my safety equipment. 693 00:53:32,939 --> 00:53:35,425 Stuff like this is still smoldering. 694 00:53:35,528 --> 00:53:36,909 So that would've been my story. 695 00:53:37,012 --> 00:53:38,221 1 would've been done at day 40. 696 00:53:38,324 --> 00:53:39,843 - Yeah. 697 00:53:39,946 --> 00:53:42,328 Callie, you're really starting to see signs of predators. 698 00:53:42,432 --> 00:53:44,744 You know, in the porcupine tracks, 699 00:53:44,848 --> 00:53:46,608 there are wolf tracks following those. 700 00:53:46,712 --> 00:53:49,922 Is it any coincidence that you were starting to see 701 00:53:50,025 --> 00:53:52,304 more competition for the food at this point? 702 00:53:52,407 --> 00:53:54,306 - I don't think it's a coincidence. 703 00:53:54,409 --> 00:53:56,480 Winter's really coming on strong, 704 00:53:56,584 --> 00:53:59,276 so all the wild animals are feeling that pressure. 705 00:53:59,380 --> 00:54:02,383 They all know how much work it takes 706 00:54:02,486 --> 00:54:04,971 to be able to stay there for the arctic winter. 707 00:54:05,075 --> 00:54:07,698 And they wanna get all the food that they can, 708 00:54:07,802 --> 00:54:10,425 so it's no surprise that we're all seeing 709 00:54:10,529 --> 00:54:13,256 more and more sign of predators. 710 00:54:13,359 --> 00:54:16,397 - Amos, that was a pretty bold fox 711 00:54:16,500 --> 00:54:17,812 you had an encounter with there. 712 00:54:17,915 --> 00:54:19,123 Talk us through that. 713 00:54:19,227 --> 00:54:20,608 Tell us what was going on in your head 714 00:54:20,711 --> 00:54:22,299 just with his behavior. 715 00:54:22,403 --> 00:54:23,714 You know, he didn't-- he didn't seem 716 00:54:23,818 --> 00:54:25,820 very frightened of you, that's for sure. 717 00:54:30,687 --> 00:54:34,691 But the fox and everybody else out there is looking for food. 718 00:54:34,794 --> 00:54:37,625 And he knew there was a fresh kill on-site. 719 00:54:37,728 --> 00:54:40,110 So I didn't want the fox to just stick around. 720 00:54:40,213 --> 00:54:44,010 1 seen examples of previous participants 721 00:54:44,114 --> 00:54:47,324 losing a lot of their food to animals like the fox. 722 00:54:47,428 --> 00:54:48,636 - Yeah, that little bunny buster 723 00:54:48,739 --> 00:54:50,085 put a pretty good wall up on him. 724 00:54:50,189 --> 00:54:52,191 1 mean, he went down there for a second. 725 00:54:52,295 --> 00:54:54,538 1 think he's gonna remember that shot for sure. 726 00:54:54,642 --> 00:54:56,678 - I told you that was going to hurt. 727 00:54:56,782 --> 00:54:59,336 You don't listen. 728 00:54:59,440 --> 00:55:02,546 - Kie, you were also experiencing animals wanting 729 00:55:02,650 --> 00:55:05,584 and ultimately taking some of your rabbits from the snares. 730 00:55:05,687 --> 00:55:07,137 How frustrating is that? 731 00:55:07,240 --> 00:55:08,897 - Yeah, 1 was actually surprised 732 00:55:09,001 --> 00:55:10,623 that it hadn't happened sooner. 733 00:55:10,727 --> 00:55:12,867 1 had over 200 snares 734 00:55:12,970 --> 00:55:15,145 out on my line. 735 00:55:15,248 --> 00:55:19,701 And thankfully, 1 had a rabbit back at camp already. 736 00:55:19,805 --> 00:55:20,909 - Yeah. 737 00:55:21,013 --> 00:55:22,670 There was a moment there which was 738 00:55:22,773 --> 00:55:24,948 one of the most vivid explanations 739 00:55:25,051 --> 00:55:28,469 and really hit home for me and I'm sure many other viewers 740 00:55:28,572 --> 00:55:31,748 when you described life out there and you said, 741 00:55:31,851 --> 00:55:34,164 the only time you touch something living 742 00:55:34,267 --> 00:55:35,614 is right before you kill it. 743 00:55:35,717 --> 00:55:38,548 How does that affect you mentally and emotionally 744 00:55:38,651 --> 00:55:40,135 in a situation like that? 745 00:55:40,239 --> 00:55:42,655 - I'm very much all about connection-- 746 00:55:42,759 --> 00:55:45,417 connection with the land, the animals, 747 00:55:45,520 --> 00:55:47,936 and people, and... 748 00:55:48,040 --> 00:55:51,181 1 was feeling Wike 1 needed someone 10 talk to 749 00:55:51,284 --> 00:55:53,356 besides the camera, and, um, 750 00:55:53,459 --> 00:55:57,567 the bunny just, you know, reminded me so much of my cat. 751 00:55:57,670 --> 00:56:02,365 And, you know, just holding that paw of that bunny 752 00:56:02,468 --> 00:56:05,195 was some sort of comfort for me. 753 00:56:05,298 --> 00:56:06,403 - Right. 754 00:56:06,507 --> 00:56:08,992 Okay, Joe, at this point in the episode, 755 00:56:09,095 --> 00:56:12,236 clearly, the lack of progress with your shelter 756 00:56:12,340 --> 00:56:13,997 is beginning to weigh on you a little bit. 757 00:56:14,100 --> 00:56:16,586 At what point did you realize that you might've 758 00:56:16,689 --> 00:56:19,312 made a mistake in terms of that balancing act-- 759 00:56:19,416 --> 00:56:21,936 you know, taking a little bit more time to build the shelter 760 00:56:22,039 --> 00:56:23,696 than maybe you should have? 761 00:56:23,800 --> 00:56:26,458 - I think as I--my energy level started to decline, 762 00:56:26,561 --> 00:56:28,287 1 really recognized that carrying around 763 00:56:28,391 --> 00:56:31,324 these heavy logs wasn't as tenable of an option 764 00:56:31,428 --> 00:56:33,085 as it had been earlier on. 765 00:56:33,188 --> 00:56:34,845 - 1 know hindsight's 20/20, 766 00:56:34,949 --> 00:56:37,296 but if you had to do it all over again, 767 00:56:37,400 --> 00:56:39,781 is there anything you would've done differently? 768 00:56:39,885 --> 00:56:42,370 - You know, if 1 could shift a few things around timewise, 769 00:56:42,474 --> 00:56:45,131 1 would've liked to have gotten my gillnet in the water 770 00:56:45,235 --> 00:56:47,513 and stockpiled more food. 771 00:56:47,617 --> 00:56:49,688 But if 1 could do it all over again, 772 00:56:49,791 --> 00:56:51,206 1 don't think my decisions 773 00:56:51,310 --> 00:56:53,001 would've been that much different. 774 00:56:53,105 --> 00:56:55,935 And I think that deciding to leave when 1 did 775 00:56:56,039 --> 00:56:57,661 was the right choice for me. 776 00:56:57,765 --> 00:56:59,076 - All these months later, 777 00:56:59,180 --> 00:57:02,183 are you still at peace with your decision to tap out? 778 00:57:02,286 --> 00:57:04,737 - T'm at peace with it-- 1 mean, 1 definitely 779 00:57:04,841 --> 00:57:06,463 have played the "should've would've could've" game, 780 00:57:06,567 --> 00:57:09,501 but ultimately, when [ decided to leave, 781 00:57:09,604 --> 00:57:11,088 what played the biggest part in that 782 00:57:11,192 --> 00:57:13,470 was not wanting to fully deplete myself. 783 00:57:13,574 --> 00:57:19,062 - Well, we were glad to have you on the show. 784 00:57:19,165 --> 00:57:21,064 Mark, 40-some odd days in, and you're starting to note 785 00:57:21,167 --> 00:57:22,824 that you're getting a little crazy out there. 786 00:57:22,928 --> 00:57:24,481 Shed some light on that. 787 00:57:24,585 --> 00:57:26,621 - The longer you're out there, the more 788 00:57:26,725 --> 00:57:29,382 you're just gonna be yourself and you joke around more. 789 00:57:29,486 --> 00:57:31,281 But when I caught myself arguing with myself, 790 00:57:31,384 --> 00:57:32,696 I was like, pshh, stop. 791 00:57:32,800 --> 00:57:34,974 Let me think about this. Okay, that's not right. 792 00:57:35,078 --> 00:57:36,631 I'm gonna stop cussing. 793 00:57:36,735 --> 00:57:39,220 They wanna--you're a good man. 794 00:57:39,323 --> 00:57:42,292 Except when my shelter catches on fire. 795 00:57:44,018 --> 00:57:45,709 What the ? 796 00:57:45,813 --> 00:57:48,781 - Callie, any psychological effects starting to-- 797 00:57:48,885 --> 00:57:51,784 to weigh in or take effect on you at this point? 798 00:57:51,888 --> 00:57:53,303 40-some odd days in? 799 00:57:53,406 --> 00:57:56,651 - Oh, yeah, but I would say it's a positive one, 800 00:57:56,755 --> 00:57:58,481 and one that 1 would welcome.,. 801 00:57:58,584 --> 00:58:02,208 It was a huge transformative process, 802 00:58:02,312 --> 00:58:04,935 and I feel like it takes about that long 803 00:58:05,039 --> 00:58:08,214 to start dropping into that mental space. 804 00:58:08,318 --> 00:58:10,562 - Mark, it seemed like a big part of this experience 805 00:58:10,665 --> 00:58:13,979 wasn't just about your son, but also a lot of it for you 806 00:58:14,082 --> 00:58:15,981 had to do with your fellow Recon marines. 807 00:58:16,084 --> 00:58:17,465 You even took the time to carve out 808 00:58:17,569 --> 00:58:19,363 the five paragraphs of the Recon creed. 809 00:58:19,467 --> 00:58:22,366 And we have that in some never-before-seen footage. 810 00:58:22,470 --> 00:58:23,540 Let's take a look at that. 811 00:58:25,197 --> 00:58:27,855 - I made a Recon Jack. It's the one that's on my arm. 812 00:58:27,958 --> 00:58:29,477 Something in the Recon community 813 00:58:29,581 --> 00:58:32,376 guys get if they've earned it. 814 00:58:32,480 --> 00:58:34,378 That's my Jack. 815 00:58:34,482 --> 00:58:37,520 Recon sniper. 816 00:58:39,418 --> 00:58:40,661 But it's little things like that 817 00:58:40,764 --> 00:58:42,041 that I look at and I'm like, 818 00:58:42,145 --> 00:58:44,354 man, you're doing this for more than yourself. 819 00:58:46,459 --> 00:58:48,082 So the Recon creed-- 820 00:58:48,185 --> 00:58:50,291 I'm carving it into the wood. 821 00:58:50,394 --> 00:58:52,707 Never shall 1 forget the principles 1 accepted 822 00:58:52,811 --> 00:58:55,123 to become a Reconnaissance marine-- 823 00:58:55,227 --> 00:58:58,955 honor, perseverance, spirit, and heart, 824 00:58:59,058 --> 00:59:01,233 conquering all obstacles built large and small. 825 00:59:01,336 --> 00:59:04,132 1 shall never quit. 826 00:59:04,236 --> 00:59:05,375 There it is-- 827 00:59:05,478 --> 00:59:09,068 all five paragraphs of the Recon creed, 828 00:59:09,172 --> 00:59:12,762 written out in tablets on wood. 829 00:59:14,487 --> 00:59:16,559 Forever shall 1 strive {0 maintain 830 00:59:16,662 --> 00:59:20,252 the tremendous reputation of those who went before me. 831 00:59:20,355 --> 00:59:22,426 - Mark, what is your reaction to that? 832 00:59:22,530 --> 00:59:24,187 - You know, while you're out there, 833 00:59:24,290 --> 00:59:25,671 you've got to do things that motivate you-- 834 00:59:25,775 --> 00:59:27,570 my son, priority number one, 835 00:59:27,673 --> 00:59:28,950 but then also what I've achieved 836 00:59:29,054 --> 00:59:30,814 and what I've done in the past in the military, 837 00:59:30,918 --> 00:59:33,506 and carving that creed out with my knife, 838 00:59:33,610 --> 00:59:35,405 and 1 made sure that 1 was abiding by iy, 839 00:59:35,508 --> 00:59:37,338 'cause 1 am representing not only myself, 840 00:59:37,441 --> 00:59:39,754 but all Recon marines and scout snipers. 841 00:59:39,858 --> 00:59:41,480 - And what does that creed mean to you 842 00:59:41,584 --> 00:59:43,827 in the context of the "Alone" experience? 843 00:59:43,931 --> 00:59:45,346 - To never quit, 844 00:59:45,449 --> 00:59:47,072 to surpass failure, 845 00:59:47,175 --> 00:59:48,936 to overcome, to adapt. 846 00:59:49,039 --> 00:59:50,903 - You seem to be doing pretty good out there. 847 00:59:51,007 --> 00:59:52,318 And then all of a sudden, 848 00:59:52,422 --> 00:59:54,562 you being to say you're tired and exhausted. 849 00:59:54,666 --> 00:59:56,391 Was there a pivot point? What-- 850 00:59:56,495 --> 00:59:58,290 1 know there was some deterioration there,. 851 00:59:58,393 --> 00:59:59,774 Take us through that. 852 00:59:59,878 --> 01:00:04,537 - Man, day 35 was such a game changer physically for me. 853 01:00:04,641 --> 01:00:06,332 My energy levels plummeted 854 01:00:06,436 --> 01:00:08,507 and it started getting difficult to breathe. 855 01:00:08,611 --> 01:00:10,854 I had a pain on the right side of my back. 856 01:00:10,958 --> 01:00:13,650 And my vision was going. 1 thought it was my diet. 857 01:00:13,754 --> 01:00:16,480 And so 1 knew that 1 couldn't sustain at this rate. 858 01:00:16,584 --> 01:00:18,690 And it's a pretty humbling experience to be able 859 01:00:18,793 --> 01:00:21,554 to know yourself well enough to quit when 1 did. 860 01:00:21,658 --> 01:00:23,453 - So once you get back to base camp, 861 01:00:23,556 --> 01:00:25,041 your journey didn't end there. 862 01:00:25,144 --> 01:00:29,286 Take us through sort of what transpired after the evac. 863 01:00:29,390 --> 01:00:31,703 - My liver and my spleen were enlarged and infected 864 01:00:31,806 --> 01:00:33,428 and 1 had fluid behind my right lung. 865 01:00:33,532 --> 01:00:35,016 They told me that my heart was in the condition 866 01:00:35,120 --> 01:00:37,536 of an 87-year-old man who's had a massive heart attack. 867 01:00:37,640 --> 01:00:39,987 So it turns out that I had trichinosis, 868 01:00:40,090 --> 01:00:42,472 a parasite that can go from not that big of a deal to, 869 01:00:42,575 --> 01:00:44,163 it'll kill you in four to six weeks. 870 01:00:44,267 --> 01:00:45,820 And that's what had put it into perspective 871 01:00:45,924 --> 01:00:48,996 that 1 am super grateful that 1 left when 1 did. 872 01:00:49,099 --> 01:00:50,756 I'm lucky to be sitting here 873 01:00:50,860 --> 01:00:53,000 and be able to see my son every single day, 874 01:00:53,103 --> 01:00:55,692 so I couldn't be happier about my decision. 875 01:00:55,796 --> 01:00:59,006 - Wow, ended up being the exact right call to make. 876 01:00:59,109 --> 01:01:00,490 For sure. 877 01:01:00,593 --> 01:01:03,079 That's it for "Alone: Tales from the Arctic." 878 01:01:03,182 --> 01:01:05,357 I'd like to thank Mark, Callie, Joe, 879 01:01:05,460 --> 01:01:07,255 Amos, and Kielyn. 880 01:01:07,359 --> 01:01:09,637 We'll be speaking with the participants all season long 881 01:01:09,741 --> 01:01:12,088 following the shows, so make sure you tune in for that. 882 01:01:12,191 --> 01:01:14,228 Until next week, as promised, 883 01:01:14,331 --> 01:01:16,368 here's a sneak peek of that episode. 884 01:01:16,471 --> 01:01:17,369 We'll see you then. 885 01:01:18,991 --> 01:01:21,753 - All right, well, I guess I got to try fishing. 886 01:01:21,856 --> 01:01:23,547 Oh! 887 01:01:27,517 --> 01:01:29,415 - I need fish. 888 01:01:29,519 --> 01:01:32,039 1 need this ice to come in. 889 01:01:32,142 --> 01:01:35,559 This is so risky. 890 01:01:40,599 --> 01:01:42,808 - Holy . 891 01:01:42,912 --> 01:01:45,638 - Muskox everywhere. 892 01:01:45,742 --> 01:01:47,226 - No, no, no, no, no. 893 01:01:47,330 --> 01:01:49,504 They're surrounding my shelter.